To Those Who Look at Me and See their Nightmare …

Thanks for bearing with me and my late post. Today, it’s not a fun post but a sort of open letter to those who feel they have to lecture a person they don’t know very well who just happens to be plus sized.
This is something that touches me most days in some way so I thought I would write about it to give those who need it my point of view.

I am, for those who can’t see me, very much overweight. The world’s health freaks would call me morbidly obese.

I don’t sit there scoffing candies or lollies or chockies most of my life. I love my grilled fish and chicken and all the vegies. I don’t eat red meat and haven’t since I was about a year old and found the texture a problem. I like fried things but have an air frier and use the oven mostly. I like eating out but do it far less than most.

And I am not willing to let my body be surgically mutilated in the hope that other people’s nightmares will go away.

Still, when I go out or speak to people, it can happen that some, particularly a lot of women, will look at me and see their worst nightmare. They see how they don’t want to be. They see something they are so scared will happen to them.

It manifests itself in all sorts of ways from them telling me how they lost weight last week to flat out telling me I shouldn’t be eating or drinking this or that. I even once had a casheer tell me that men want skinny women, to which I answered that I had a master who has a fat fetish. This was after I bought some crisps for my husband mind you.

This message is for all of these people.

Stop projecting your nightmares onto me. Because when you do this, I feel it. As an empath, I feel your pain and your suffering and there is nothing I can do to help you. In fact, I take on your hurt and that makes the situation you are afraid of much worse because the stress is what makes people gain weight.

I have a fulfilling life with people, yes, people, who love me for who I am. I do all I can to make sure that the world knows it is loved. I use my weight as comfort for those who need a place to rest and someone to listen. People tell me I give really good hugs. Yes, i can do that the size I am. I have an active and very imaginative brain and I am so grateful for those in my life who show me how beautiful the world can be.

So please, look at me and see the smile I am willing to give you just for existing instead of the nightmare you are convinced is lerking so close beneath the surface because I am not your nightmare. I am the exact opposite if you will just take a second look.

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