The Processing Issues No-one Talks About

My dear readers,

This post is going to be a difficult one to write. I know I am going to get some people who will not understand but I will plough on anyway and at least try to make things as easy as I can.

So picture this. You have your eyes closed or a blindfold on, and no idea what is coming up next. Then a person walks into the room with a voice with the depth of Barry White and says to you: “Hi, my name is Stephanie.”

to me, a person who’s experienced this, who is neurodiverse, who is blind, this is what it feels like.

You hear the song and it is in the key of C. You know this because your relative pitch says C major, you know, related to A minor, no sharps and flats, all the white keys. But everyone is telling you that that song you are hearing in C is actually in A flat, you know, related to F minor, four flats, a mixture of black and white keys.

And your brain … goes … heywire!!!

you panic, have no idea what to expect, breathe quickly, are so scared you will fail at life. Everyone around you is trying to make you say it’s in that key but everything you know is how it is suddenly isn’t how it is. You don’t know what’s left, right, up, down, just nothing makes sense and you have no idea what’s going on.

This is not a logical response but an emotional one.

it has nothing to do with being a biggott. It’s not a lack of willingness to accept and try hard. It is simply a brain that works differently trying to wrap itself around the changes.

I love and accept when a person is trans or gender fluid or gender queer. I want to be tolerant and I want to do the right thing. I also deal with a lack of spoons or a need to process. I know with me, it’s the “what’s going on” or the “wait a minute, processing…” and not the “yuck they are different” kind of processing.

One of the places where I have seen parallels is when trying to teach people who have never met a blind person about how to do things. They are nervous, don’t know what’s going on and are so scared they wil fail at life.

Then you get the ones that deliberately go out of their way to make life hard and on those days, you just want to say “damned sighted toolbags!!” But seeing it from the other side, from the side where you are trying and they just met the toolbag and are taking it out on the next person, all I ask is to please see that there is a group of us out there who are trying and who want to be educated but are dealing with our own diversity issues and sometimes, it really does take a bit of time to process.

Thank you so much in advance for seeing, understanding and apreciating when someone is really doing their best. I will, in turn, be just as appreciative when the shoe is on the other foot.

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