The low down on my crushes and the feels that surround them

For those who see me talk about certain people on my twitter feed and are like “huh? What the actual?”, this is the time and place where people get to find out what is actually going on.

A little while back, I realised that I had eight people for whom I had intense feelings. It was a weird thought but I did write it all down and code-name them so that ifI want to write about them on twitter, I can. Since then, some awful stuff has happened and that number has been cut by a good dealbut the ones I have left, well, I can talk about them and about what happened.

My Little

I’ve had my little since May last year. We knew each other as kids but drifted apart. We got close again and now have a wonderful mother-baby boy dynamic that suits us well. It’s loose so no titles other than the ones above. We see each other in person probably about 3 to 4 times a year.

Mr. Parallel Universe

I started talking to him because of a group of geeky people I know from my personal twitter. We always got on well and sent each other wonderful hot sounds but he was a full-time carer and I felt that if I tried too hard to get his affections, it would be disrespectful towards the person for whom he was caring. Said person has since passed and a few months later, this yummy man decided to play a silly game on twitter where you dm a number and they express sexual and romantic interest in you. Well his romantic interest in me was an 8 out of 10!!! i was really overwhelmed because I couldn’t imagine that someone so hot could ever see me that way. We tend to cross like ships in the night a lot and there isn’t a dynamic yet, hell, we haven’t even met in person yet, but the feelings are definitely still there on my side. He has his name because when I first started talking to him, I said that I loved him in a parallel universe. Now, that universe doesn’t have to be parallel but he still carries that name if I want to refer to him without saying his name to people.

Anxious Furry

I met this delightful man on IRC in a safe place for poly people like me. My best friend’s ex told me the channel to go to and my friend said she had talked to this man and said he was nice. Because of that, I thought OK, maybe we will be able to get along. He has a very hot voice, a really yummy name, is military and so sweet that even Baklava can’t compete and that’s saying something. He is very shy, very anxious about a lot of things, but he trusts me so far and I’m happy to help him where I can. He calls me “hun” in this suuuuper sweet way and he knows what to do with words. We are not dating right now as per both of our agreement. He has military stuff to do and I have the move to make back to Perth. I said that he could ask me to date when we have finished our stuff and he said he would probably lose his nerve so I said that when my move was done and everything sorted out for that, that I would ask him if it were OK to date and we could be friends before and after if he says no. He said that was fine and dating would depend on consent from his other partners. The relationship would be a comet situation as neither of us want to move but I would be OK with mututal visits if that were how things would turn out.

Mr. Infosec

Firstly, His handle that he uses is the hottest thing ever. It trips my name/appelation kink in the biggest of ways. I left this situation till last. This person, I also met on IRC but in a different place. He got my attention by being trolly in a way that tripped my submissive humiliation triggers in huge ways. I caught him out playing a prank and we would message each other about music and he gave me wonderful links to documentaries and songs and he would talk to me in this dismissive way that would piss most people off but it always gave me wet panties. His views are so different to mine in a lot of ways. He is also military and he’s a geeky hacker type person, all things which I love. He is wonderful at describing vids so I understand what’s going on and he has a smile in his voice that makes you think he’s always up to something. Our situation is quite strange. He has this two week cycle thing going on where he goes dark and then comes back about every two weeks. We haven’t met in person yet and a lot of the time, it looks like we are fighting but a mutual friend says to me that he is better for knowing me. I hope this is true as I would like to think I make someone’s life better. There are a number of things we need to talk about and sort out as far as logistics go and even kink and relationship styles. We are strictly speaking, very unsuitable, but if we can sort this, we can deal with most things. He inspires me to be creative and that’s a good thing right?

There are two others for whom I have lots of wonderful feelings but we have spoken and agreed that friendship is better for our situations. Because we talked about it and I know what’s going on, things are perfect even though a lot of people say being friends isn’t as good as being lovers. One of these people even stipulated that being friends does not mean playtime is out an dthat’s wonderful for me. The other one is in love with someone who makes his life interesting like Mr. Infosec does with me but in a different way and we talk and console each other when needed.

So that’s a wrap. Maybe my twitter will be a little more demystified after you read this.

One Reply to “The low down on my crushes and the feels that surround them”

  1. I’ve spent a lot of my school life being told not to crowd people or get into their personal space but I always wonder who’s job is it to tell me this when people have their own voice to speak up but I know some people don’t like to speak up for fear of hurting my feelings. being that I often spend a lot of time alone and I have spent a lot of time alone over the years I’m often times unsure of what’s appropriate and what’s not when it comes to physical closeness and interactions. I don’t know what constitutes flerting whether in action or words, I don’t know what constitutes having a crush on somebody whether it means hugging or just talking about somebody obsessively but then what is considered obsessive and how much is too much when it comes to messaging somebody before it gets to the point where they’re becoming overwhelmed. I’ve started looking at people’s profiles as to their relationship status and if it says the person’s in a relationship I now ask whether that status is current or needs to change and I make it clear that any interaction is above board and that if jealousy is going to become an issue that I would step back a bit. I’ve even started asking people I interact with whether they are the huggy type so that if I ever met up with them and I wanted to hug them I wouldn’t find out the hard way that they aren’t the huggy type. Maybe I’m over cautious or I’m just setting boundaries that I should endeavour to work towards.

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