I’ve been reading quite a number of blogs over the past nine months or so and following sex-positive people and those who work in the sex industry before that and there has been one thing that stood out with almost all of them. Somewhere along the line, they have made money using their image.
Some take nudes and sell them, others make porn. Still others use video chat programs or web cams. People say that this is what will bring in revenue.
But what if you just are not visually aware enough to do the vid thing?
It would be amazing to be in a porn movie. It would be cool to be able to send people nudes or chat on camera with them. The thing is, I just don’t feel that I am as yet visually aware enough to pull any of that off. When I say “visually aware”, I do not mean that I don’t look good because of my size or my age or that kind of thing. What I mean is that I have no clue what my face does on camera. My movements go all jerky when I know I am being filmed. My hands even shake if it is me holding the phone. People have to tell me where to aim and so my face will have the look of concentration on it when it is facing the person telling me how to aim. Now personally, I don’t think that’s sexy. It would be like that absent-minded voice you have when you are doing something else. I look stilted and programmed and that isn’t what a person wants to see when they want to get hot and sexy.
The thing is, I have no answer to this dilemma right now because everything I would do to change it would be learned actions as well so that would look more scripted still. I could, when my situation improves, have a camera set-up which stays in the same place all the time. I could get some shots taken by a professional and sell them. I could even get nudes done without my face, as photos so people don’t see how scripted it is. But it will never be that which comes from a person who can control what their body and face are doing by looking in a mirror.
The closest I can come to this is to look at the possibility of selling audio clips, for example. They would be done brilliantly so far as quality goes but as I have been told all of my life, people want the visuals. People want to see you and anything else would be seen as second rate.
I may come up with an answer at some point but for now, it will have to stay as it is. One of the various issues I am confronted with and do battle with most days.