The Issues with Non-verbal Communication and Dating

When people talk about dating, a lot of what they talk about is stuff like staring into someone’s eyes and knowing what the person says with one look. Well I tell you hnow, that’s not going to happen. For people who are blind or vision impaired, this facet of the whole dating game can make the difference between a comfortable date and the awkward date from hell. There are ways to make it bearable however.

One of the things I do if I know that my date and I are going to want to go further is to tell them that it would be better if they sit next to me and not opposite me when we go for coffee or food. It means that I can touch them and feel through their hands if they are comfortable.

I also ask them what they are thinking if they are too silent. I let them know that they have to vocalise with me as all of the non-verbal cues will not work. It’s amazing how much easier things will go if there is decent communication.

Now ther are people who would say that this kind of thing just highlights my differences and wouldn’t it be better just to pass and to blend in? I say no, it really wouldn’t be better.

I am blind and, so far as I know, kissing the spectrum. If I don’t know what’s going on, I panic. It’s that simple. I don’t want to panic on a first date. I want to feel safe and confident. These small modifications help me to not only feel safer but also to project the level of pep and humour which is actually in my personality rather than the nervous wreck that happens when I am on dates. I’d rather the person I am with sees the real me that my friends see. Making these modifications allows this to happen.

One Reply to “The Issues with Non-verbal Communication and Dating”

  1. I absolutely hate when even if somebody gives their consent that somebody has to take me aside later and lecture me about what I was doing. when it comes to getting to know what somebody looks like by touch or by feel even if I ask consent and it’s given, my mother still thinks it’s okay to have a go at me for it as she’s sick of witnessing it. People may give their consent because they’re not game to say no and each time I try to argue my point there’s no arguing with my mother she is steadfast. If the time comes where I have the opportunity to date somebody, I’m going to probably have a hard time even listening to my head or my mother or those adults who have made me respect personal space and boundaries. I’ve got to let go of almost being expelled from school for being falsely accused of groping a girl on the breast but you can’t let something like that go. it shapes you as a person very differently after that.

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