The Issues I Have with People Who Flake

I was on twitter just looking at tweets when something caught my ear as it were and gave me the idea for this post.

As a person who will never drive a car in the usual way, I have to use public transport. This is not negotiable. Taxis are expensive and while I will use them if I have to, the default is a bus or a train. The timetables for public transport will not care if something happens. The drivers, the conductors, the transport authority, they don’t care. They have a schedule and keep to it, especially in Germany which prides itself on punctuality.

This in turn means that if I need to catch said public transport, I stick to their schedule. There are no ifs, ands or buts about this. It means I can only leave at a certain time and return up to a certain time, no earlier, no later.

To be clear, I am not hating on people who, for various reasons, can’t make dates or appointments. If you have issues, be it physical or mental ones, that’s just how the world works. the thing is, I don’t have the privelege of being as spontaneous as a lot of people so if a person flakes in such a way that I am stuck because of transport issues, I am going to get mad.

I won’t be able to fix things as quickly and easily as someone who has a car. This is also not just a problem that I have.

If you need to cancel for any reason, make sure that you call in such a time frame that I can plan around it. Give me at least an hour’s warning if possible because sometimes, that’s how long it will take me to get to where you are.

It is, in most cases, not personal from your side. I know this logically. But sometimes, when I have to negotiate a route I don’t know because someone cancels on me, well, I get upset. I get angry. I will probably not plan that kind of date or meet-up and will plan around the possibility of flakiness by default. i will probably plan it so that it happens on my terms, in my safe place so that if the other person bails, it’s not going to be as difficult for me. Things tend to take more time when you have a disability so when someone else makes it so that time or those spoons are used up, yeah, getting mad is a thing.

So please, if you need to postpone things, just let me know in advance. I won’t get mad and I won’t put any of these measures in place if I have enough time and notice.

2 Replies to “The Issues I Have with People Who Flake”

  1. where i live, in the country or to put it in another way, in a regional area where public transport is often times lacking, well, the bus system is okay but I prefer to use taxis simply because I know the drivers very well and I have a half price taxi card plus a taxi account that I can book up my taxi trips and get the bill at the end of the month. our train system is in damage control simply because the lines are screwed and for years the government keep promising to fix the train lines and keep throwing money at it but nothing ever gets done. Any appointments I may have if they’re within the town I live and if my parents are busy or they’re away I will get a taxi there and provided I’ve got the contact phone number of said business I will ring and let them know I’m on my way. I was thinking of volunteering with visionaustralia radio in albury nsw Australia but with the bus system the way it is I couldn’t exactly plan when to go there and back as busses go up there and back at certain times and you can’t always plan those times as a call to volunteer on radio up there could be at any given time and a taxi would only ever be as a last resort but I don’t ever want to fork out a fortune for lengthy taxi trips out of town and if my parents were working away and I was here by myself any appointments out of town just wouldn’t happen unless somebody volunteered to drive me

    1. This is why I wouldn’t live in a rural area. I need to know that I can get away if I have to. It’s from having lived in Europe for so long.

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