Funny Work Stories … or are they?

As I said a couple of weeks ago, I work as a phone sex operator. I have done this in two languages and two different countrys’ systems since around 2008.

Every job has its stories: happy, sad, silly and even funny. I’d love to be able to share a few of the more unusual ones this week with you, my readers. Names will not be used because breaking confidences is absolutely not OK.

Cheese Wheels

The story almost had to be witnessed to be believed but it happened.

I got a work call from a man who said that he wanted me to play a dominant cheese farmer woman from Holland. He wanted to be made to lend his car to the girls who worked with her so that they could deliver their cheese wheels around the neighbourhood.

As if that weren’t enough, they were supposed to make sure the car got dented and muddied while they were delivering said cheese wheels. To top it off, I was to wank him off using a slice of cheese.

Old McDonald

This caller, I had at least three times when I was working for this particular company. Let’s call him Anthony.

He would call me up and say that he wanted to be dressed up in humiliating clothes such as diapers or nappies with duckies printed on them and a bright mustard yellow sweatshirt. He even said he should be made to wear a dunce hat and a clown nose. People were to dance around him singing “Wankie Wankie Wan-kie” in the neener neener neener way that kids sing when taunting someone.

He was also to be made to read Old McDonald and sing it, pointing out the animals, what they looked like and what soundds they made. At the time, I was hit with an inspiration and played the song on my stage piano with a music box type of sound. He really went for that.

Turns out his day job was as a therapist.

Soft Kitty

This confersation actually happened with a work caller.

Me: Hello
Them: Meow.
Me: Mrrrrrrrow!
Them Meeeeow!

This went on for about a minute and a half until they said “Oh are you a soft kitty?” afterwhich they hung up.

Now maybe people will think that this post was to make fun of my clients but actually, that’s not the case.

Everyone has different fetishes and kinks, some of which they don’t feel comfortable revealing to their partners or their employers. A lot of very closed-minded people would make sure, for example, that the therapist did not keep his job if they found out what his sexual preferences were. There are many neuro-diverse people whose kinks run to the very bizarre.

What I try to do in my work is to give these people a safe place so that they can live out their extremely unusual fantasies without being judged or laughed at, … unless of course, that is their kink.

If you do sex work of any kind, you will most likely come up against this kind of thing. Please think before you open your mouth if what is going to come out is likely to take away that safe place.

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