Family and Kink but Not How You Think

family and kink you say? I can hear the cogs turning right now. Sorry to disappoint you but this will be entirely different from what you are expecting.

I am currently sitting in my parents’ house with my iPhone and typing this … with the screen curtain function turned on so they don’t see what I am writing. You see, there’s this huge taboo surrounding kink happening within one’s own family and the idea that someone close to you is kinky sends most people into paroxisms of disgust with comments of “eww gross” and “I didn’t want to know” and “TMI Love”. Just to be clear. I am not talking about incest, just knowledge of the kinks and sexual practices of family members.

But what happens when a family member has to care for another family member? Does this mean that because of all of these taboos, the sexual needs of the infirm or disabled person will not be taken into account? I found out by accident that someone in my immediate family had a sexual health issue. I asked the immediate family about it and was met with a stoney silence the likes of which you have never seen and that scared me. What happens if I have to care for either of my parents? Will they ever feel comfortable telling me about these issues or will they just suffer in silence because I am family? Will they be able to engage in a healthy sex life when of a certain age or will they have to stop because family is grossed out? Will our generation be kind to our liberal parents or will we treat them like the children they haven’t been for many years? I know which child I want to be, even if I have to break through all of the taboos necessary to make this happen.

Don’t infantilise family. Show them love by recognising their adult status. Old and/or related does not mean sexless. Talk to each other because it might mean a piece of knowledge that save someone’s life. z

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