Leading by Example

Hey everyone,

So I was washing my hands after my pilgrimage to the loo when I had a thought, as you do.

There are so many types of people who blog and there will be all sorts of disagreements about what is OK and what isn’t. The trans woman of colour, the white cis man, the democrat, the republican, the non-binary anarchist … and they were so hot too … but anyway, what I was trying to say before my imagination derailed me, was that everyone has their place in this world. People are going to think that their opposite is wrong on so many levels and I have that myself.

The thing about this is that we are all humans who need love. The republican friend with the traditional nuclear family is just as human as the non-binary person living in a polycule.

I will stand up for the rights of those who can’t defend themselves. I will try to smooth the way between opposing sides. What I will not do is say “oh, she’s white” or “oh, hhe’s thin” and think that that makes the person automatically unworthy of love. What I tend to do is to lead by example. I meet a person and treat them the way they treat me. I will give an example of how this kind of thing works in a situation that maybe isn’t so globally explosive.

There is prejudice against a lot of blind people from the sighted majority but there is also prejudice the other way. I often hear “those awful sightlings have no clue” or “I would never have a relationship with a sighted person”. I have to admit, when I was younger, I was just as prejudiced and in some ways, I still am.

I have met lovely blind people, awful sighted people, and exactly the other way around. People are going to be who they are whether their eyes work or not. It’s the same in other minorities.

this world is going mad and people are becoming artificially fragmented by having to stay in their own groups. I won’t do that. I give love where I need it and listen and learn when I can so the other points of view are at least glympsed. It does not mean that I agree with people who oppress and it does not mean that I am a “damned socialist” or a “bloody fascist”. It means that I practise diversity in that I lead by example.

The scary but necessary first post

Hey to my wonderful readers,

This is my first post and it’s going to be amazing and breathtaking and pack a huge punch … actually, I’m probably going to second-guess myself a bit and wonder if I have made a good first impression just like everyone else.

I think I had better introduce myself so the world knows what it is getting itself into here. My name is Helen. No, it is not my real given name but it is for this blog. I am what people call fat, bbw, plus-sized, large, cuddly, comfy, all of it. I am also a very sexual and sensual person. Yes, these things go together along with being blind since birth.

I am in my mid 30s and very openly polyamorous, though for the moment, still married to a monogamous person who tolerates but does not accept my polyamory. We have made agreements to live with this. Though the situation is not optimal but will be as soon as is logistically feasible.

Geeky, nerdy, techy people are the hottest thing on this earth. This is not negotiable!!

Hopefully, I’ll be able to cover everything from audio recordings of unboxing sex toys to synaesthesia to word triggers and what they mean, even the best music for play time.

Constructive feedback is welcome, trolls can find the nearest bridge and enjoy themselves there because my site isn’t there for that purpose.

Because social media is a thing, here are the places.

Twitter: @helenstoybox
Skype: helenstoybox
email: [email protected]

right, now that’s done, the scary first post, maybe I can put on some Bach, have a lemon, lime and bitters and find some hackers so I can cook them food.

Yours withlove

Helen