Love At First Sight

Something many people will want to know about how it is to be blind is “Does love at first sight exist?” The answer: yes it really does but it happens differently.

Generally speaking, a person’s voice is the equivalent of that first look. You hear someone’s voice for the first time and that’s it. Then they just smell right as well as having the perfect voice and then after that, you get to know that their personality just works. Sometimes, you can just feel all of those things very quickly.

Because the voice is often the first thing you know about a new person, there is such a thing as love at first sight over a phone or voice medium and that can be disconcerting for people who don’t realise it exists.

Many of the best and saddest relationships I have had were because of love at first sight. I tend to trust my intuition about them with mixed results. I suppose it’s like that for everyone but I am not sure.

The sexual intensity has varied as well which surprised me. I think though that the reason for that was due to me not realising I needed to list my word triggers and make sure they were used. Now, whether it be love at first sight or a play partner, I do that regardless and things are so much better in both cases.

It has also happened with me and not the other person before. My brain has tricked me in those situations too because it sees things that either aren’t there or that the other person doesn’t see. I’ve often got to be on my guard when that happens because I don’t want to violate consent and not realise.

So yes, love at first sight does exist for me and it’s very powerful. It just manifests in different ways. It’s just that “sight” refers to all of love’s multi-sensory experiences.

Bad Boys With a Difference

In my family, at least among the girls, there has always been a dichotomy regarding finding the best man to father your children and loving the trope that is bad boys. My Mum, at least at first, Aunties, cousins, sister, they all loved the bad boys and for a very long time, I thought I was the exception. Turns out this is not true. I definitely have a thing for bad boys. They just don’t look like the ones the rest of my family likes.

When they talk about bad boys, they mean men who are rough, usually labourers of some kind, probably good looking, are likely to have tattoos, ride motor bikes and not always be on the same level brain wise. They could often drink everyone under the table except the women in my family who matched them if they felt like it, which they often don’t, and sometimes these people had tempers and enjoyed their substances as well.

These kinds of men were never my type. If anything, someone like that puts me off. I don’t feel any attraction to them. If anything, I’m scared of them.

I felt relatively safe because of this lack of attraction to the types of people the rest of my family found attractive but now, I’m not so sure whether I will stay as safe as I have done.

There is, however, a bad boy type for me and I only discovered this relatively recently. I knew these kinds of guys were my thing, just it didn’t register that they are my version of bad boys. It’s the hackers, phone phreaks, whatever hat they are wearing, it doesn’t matter. The badder the better, at least, in my fantasies.

When I think of them cracking my stuff, sneaking into my PC, doing things to my mind, being smarter than I am and using my momentum against me, doing all manner of things to prove how bad they are in the bad boy sense, this is attractive to me. It can also be very dangerous if I am not careful because I tend not to see the bad side if they don’t show it or I will have a masochistic need to feel that bad side being used on me.

I tend to have trouble with the intuition that has protected me since I was a baby because who and what they are blinds me with lust. I wonder if this happens to others, especially those in my family. I wonder if I will be able to keep myself safe for the remainder of my life.

I don’t have answers to any of this but knowing that this tendency exists may possibly help me out of some pretty scary situations. At least, I hope it does.

A Review of the Tantus Steam Hunk By Tantus Inc

EYou know those toys where you think they are quite inocuous but they sneak up on you? That is how the Steam Hunk from Tantus Inc was for me.

I had heard about this wonderful science fiction eddifice but I had no idea what to imagine in my hands but luckily, the people at Tantus were willing to send it to me so I would know what to expect and could review it for everyone’s pleasure, mine included.

The feel was so stimtastic and different to anythingI have ever experienced when it comes to dildos. It was so robot-like and you could feel the straps and rivets and the hydraulic chambers feel a bit like capsules of the medicinal variety. I always use some kind of clitoral vibe while using a dildo because I need both kinds of stimulation. I usually use the Wevibe Tango or the Mini Swan Wand but the Je Joue Mimi or the bullet from Fun Factory are also good for this.

I thought with the relative narrowness and lack of length that not too much would happen with this toy but the head hit my G-spot and the dual density silicone made it so squeezing felt really good and then the orgasm arrived unexpectedly and was relatively intense.

It’s a toy that I would use sometimes but the feel and texture make it so that I would probably get distracted so much playing with it that I’d forget to use it for its intended purpose.

Measurements: 6.78 inches by 1.69 inches or 14.68 cm by 4.29 cm

If you would like to try the Steam Hunk for yourself, you can get it at the following places.
Tantus Inc
Peep Show Toys
SheVibe Pleasure Boutique
I was given the Steam Hunk by Tantus Inc in exchange for an unbiased review. Affiliate links have been used in this post.

A Review of Hard Drive by M. Christian

When M. Christian tweeted that he was looking for reviewers for his new anthology of tech-based erotica, I was champing at the bit to get a copy to review. Everyone who reads my blog and my twitter knows that I have a huge thing for nerds and sex and tech and what better way to combine those than in a book of tech-based erotic stories.

I was sent a PDF of the book very promptly when I emailed him and the book was in real text so it was accessible for me to read with my PDF reading program on my PC. it will most likely be readable with Voice Dream Reader and iBooks too on your smartphone. I can’t say much about any illustrations. Even if I got someone to describe them to me, I would just be talking about descriptions of said images so I will leave that part for someone who can talk about those from their own experiences.

The first thing which struck me while reading this book was how extremely sensory his writing style is. The descriptions of colours and feelings were so bright and vivid that I sometimes needed to take a break because my imagination makes me feel what I hear and read. On the other hand, it’s wonderful to know that others are very sensory and synaesthetic as well.

I also noticed as a theme all the way throughout the book the need for humans to connect with their tech and the numerous ways in which this was portrayed. From the idea of a doll who serviced one person on Fridays and the need for that person to show kindness to her to the taxi which held someone in its thrall with sexy dreams and so many other scenes, that strong need for a person to connect even in situations where connecting isn’t advised was prevalent.

The stories explored all different orientations and gender identities as well. Not only could people and their tech have different genders and orientations, these could change and often did. From this point of view, it seems that there is something for most people in the anthology.

Personally, I found the book difficult to get into. The stream of consciousness feel felt jarring to me. I didn’t get sucked into the stories and there was no point of reference for me. Also, because of how sensory everything was, I found it difficult to feel relaxed. There wasn’t the level of mental interaction that I need when reading erotica that is supposed to make me want to masturbate or to have a sexual encounter but that could be due to my very specific set of needs where that is concerned. This doesn’t mean that the book was bad, just that it wasn’t a good fit for me.

Thanks to M. Christian for allowing me to review his book. If you would like to get a copy of this book or others from the author, you can find a comprehensive list of his works here.

I received a copy of the book hard Drive in exchange for an unbiased review.

A Review of the Tantus Sam by Tantus Inc

Because I loved the Tantus Uncut 2, I wanted to review something with a bit more girth so the lovely people there sent me Sam to play with. It’s got a similar feel to what the Uncut 2 has but is a lot wider and a bit longer and there is a hole for a bullet vibe as well as a suction cup. Both come with the toy and you can alternate.

This wonderful hunk of dreamy silicone is 1.8 inches or 4.57 cm wide and 7.3 inches or 18.54 cm long and feels very penis-like when inside. The dual density silicone means that there’s give but also hardness when you squeeze and that feels so good. Even though I feel really full when using it, I don’t feel pain of any kind and I want to gush and splash everything.

I am really looking forward to what this beauty does if someone else is using it on me. I prefer using it with the suction cup because I am a still or thrusting dildo but bullet on the clit type of person.

Before I continue to wax lyrical, I’d better let you all know that you can get your own Sam at the following shops.

Tantus Inc
Peep Show Toys
SheVibe Pleasure Boutique

The Tantus Sam was sent to me by Tantus Inc in exchange for an unbiased review. Affiliate links were used in this post.

My Feelings About Woodhull

I had the honour of being able to attend the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit from the second till the fifth of August 2018. It was a wonderful few days, a very intense few days and a very amazing and enlightening few days. It was also a very sad few days and I need to be able to write about both aspects of this so I can process but also so that people will see how things are and were and maybe get a chance to understand things from the point of view of someone who does things very differently.

It was wonderful to meet and spend time with all of the bloggers. It felt so strange in a good way to say “I’m from the Helen’s Toybox blog” and have people squeal and give me hugs and just overall be happy to see me. It was also really interesting to hear voices of people with whom I had never spoken. I expected some voices to be sterner than they were and also the opposite.

Because I don’t have pictures, I literally don’t see people, I don’t have certain lenses through which to view them. Colour or size will only exist to me if I touch a person or if they have a voice that gives anything like that away. Even then, I just take it down as a part of who the person is.

I was also really amazed about people’s reactions to my accent. I could literally smile and be polite and people bent over backwards to give me things and to help me. It felt good when I had time to process that it was actually happening. I’d never been in that situation before. I find it very hard to just receive and was taught that you never ask for presents so when people wanted to give me things for free or they wanted to set me up with swag or show me all sorts of things, well, I had to figure out what to do. It wasn’t that I was ungrateful, just very overwhelmed that people wanted to do all of that for me. It was a change in mindset that no one could have warned me about because the way I am about that isn’t something people notice about me online, at least, I don’t think it is.

I ended up only going to two talks and part of the live recording of the Dildorks but I enjoyed those and I got notes about a talk that if it is done again next year, I will certainly make time to go to that talk too. I also, with the consent of the panelists, made audio recordings for them as a back-up in case their live stream audio wasn’t very good. I will not be giving those out but they have been given to the panelists.

I need to do the hard bit now and that’s scaring me a lot. i don’t like conflict and I don’t like talking about difficult things but I suppose in order to make things better for next time, I had better get it out.

The first problem I had was that the hotel is very archaic in regards to money things. You either pay cash or you have a credit card or a debit card but if you have a debit card, they make things complicated. They did this with me and because my bank is not in the states, I needed to use someone else’s phone to call internationally to sort things out. It ended up being the hotel’s issue but I didn’t appreciate being treated as if I were one of *those* people who finds any excuse not to pay for things. That’s how it felt from the point-of-view of the hotel.

If they had had paypal or Apple/Google Pay, for example, this could have been sorted a lot more easily on the first day. AS it is, I need to find out how much the poor person had to pay for that very long international call and pay them back for it. They were wonderful in helping me but as it was, I missed out on two things I would have loved to have experienced in full because the hotel didn’t get its stuff together correctly. It also made my roommate very unhappy and that just got me plain angry. She couldn’t help any of it.

The way the hotel was, things were very loud, there were very bad acoustics and the whole place was very open plan with places where you could fall quite easily. AS it was, I always needed to get help to get from one place to another. Because my sim didn’t work like it should have, I didn’t use Aira very much because the wifi wasn’t amazing. This meant I had to always ask for help to get to wherever I wanted to go. It highlighted my disability which may have led to the next and hardest point I need to make.

I had had plans and hopes of doing some interesting play experiments while at Woodhull. I wanted to test how things would be regarding my reactions to impact play under hypnosis. I had a couple of people with whom I had made plans. Everything and I mean everything fell through. One person was not well and that was sorted out. They checked in with me, we met and I felt how much pain they were in. They want to catch up with me when not dealing with the after effects of something that horriffic and that’s perfectly fine.

In other situations, and these are my feelings and no accusations here, I truly felt like I wasn’t seen. I felt like as a blogger, I was seen and people were happy to know me. As someone to play with, not so much. It felt like a switch flipped and I disappeared from view and even if I said something, it wasn’t going to be heard or acknowledged. I didn’t know if it was because I don’t use the same body language as everyone else or if I was too intense or too obviously something else. People saw the things I said and asked for as being cute or fun or “awww look at that”. It was like being in highschool all over again and I felt sad because I had no idea how to fix any of it. I can’t read physical social cues. i had no idea if people found me repugnant in that way or were too afraid to ask me because of their own issues, none of that because no one said anything.

I wasn’t prepared for any of that.

Having said that, I had a wonderful roommate who not only saw me but was very demonstrative about seeing and acknowledging all of what I was. I can’t say how much I appreciated her and her wonderful empathy. Even when the money thing happened and she was so upset, she was always sweet to me and I am so thankful that I had her sharing a room with me.

Despite all of this, I want to come back next year. I am going to review the swag I got this year, really get into the sponsorship possibilities and thanks to possible grants, live some other dreams and make people aware that physically disabled people are here, we’re not going anywhere and we will be seen and acknowledged in all the ways. Accessibility must not be an afterthought in other places and I refuse for it to be one in the framework of sexual freedom.

I want to do work with sex tech and accessibility. Virtual reality is more than just visuals. If blind and vision impaired people don’t speak up, we will be left behind, invisible, that afterthought where the solution is cobbled together to show token adherance to industry standards. I will not stand by and let this happen.

I hope to show how there is freedom in leading by example and showing love to those who need it. People are humans first and so many people forget about humanity in their push for equality. Humans make mistakes. They are not always going to be perfect. But coming at it from a place of anger and hatred is not how I am going to fight this battle.

Above all, I am going to see to it that I will be seen and acknowledged as being a sexual person with the same abilities to consent and give and receive pleasure as everyone else. Maybe it’s a bit me me me but dammit, it’s important because maybe someone else needs something similar and if I pave the way, maybe it will be made easier for the next generation.

Sexual Harassment and Disability A post inspired by Girl on the Net

The first thing I want to say is that her experiences are very valid and she has all my empathy. None of what I have to say is meant to minimise or invalidate her post. In fact, it is what inspired me. I am so happy that she wrote what she did because when I read it, it reminded me of experiences I have had like she has but slightly different.

Sexism is probably sometimes there but I have trouble recognising it unless it’s really blatent. usually, it will be either about my weight or my disability.

The number of times when I have had to go, been busy, and people have either grabbed me, talked to me when I was concentrating, tried to make me their teachable moment when all I wanted to do was to get to where I had to go. The scarier thing for me though is when it’s disability based.

I kid you not, I’ve experienced two taxi drivers who knew that I was under their power and they sexually harassed me while I was in their taxis. Yes it was sexual but it was also about being disabled and unable to leave the taxi. This was before the taxis had apps or even Braille numbers so you could complain. You had to rely on them putting their number onto your taxi voucher and hope to all the deities that it was the right one. They played up the blind angle and it was awful to deal with and yes, I kept cool and calm while I would have loved to rage. Maybe they would have done it if I had been able to see, maybe not, but it sure made me angry either way.

GOTN asks, why did I not tell him off? The answer is spoons. You only have so many reserves sometimes and you need those for everyday life stuff. The show goes on after incidents like this and the world doesn’t care so you have to do your daily thing and then you can go home to cry or rage or do self-care things.

That feeling of “Why didn’t I say/do something?” Yeah, I know it way too well. I’ve been there so many times and I’m with all of you who have had these incidents happen in their lives and I say sometimes, you can advocate and sometimes, it’s just not possible. Neither of these things makes you a bad person, bad advocate, bad feminist, bad anything. It just means you have to count your spoons that day.

A Review of the Unicorn Horn Small pastel Pleasures Dildo by Split Peaches

I am always happy to review new and exciting toys and the Unicorn Horn Small pastel Pleasures Dildo from Split Peaches was no exception. As with all new toys, I get a description when I read about it but have no idea what will meet me when it arrives.

My toy came together with a little key ring with S and P in this font as if Times New Roman and Cureer New had a baby. I’m not sure if the ring was a 3D representation of a split peach but it’s fun and I will probably take it with me to Woodhull for keys and such. There were also stickers and some temporary tattoos which I will also take with me and maybe get someone to put on me for one of the parties but I digress.

The site is nice and accessible and the people with whom I exchanged emails and twitter dm’s couldn’t do enough for me. The package arrived promptly and there were no issues with customs.

Dimensions: 6 insertable inches or 15 cm x 1 and 5/8 inches or 4.1275CM at the base. It tapers and twists but I am not sure what the diameter or circumference of the tip’s measurements are.

The shape feels stimtastic and the silicone is not the matt finish kind but not quite the gobble up all the lube and magnetise dirt and hair kind either. I feel the possibilities this toy can have but I imagine the next size up would have shown those to me a bit more easily. I imagine all of the ribbing and texture but when it goes in, well, I have to squeeze to feel a little bit of what I am imagining. Maybe I need to do things with another person to feel the full effect or maybe more lube or less hurry but as it stands, what I am feeling is potential and waiting on the rest to happen. I am forever optimistic and hopeful that this will change and I will talk about it if it does.

If you’d like to get one of these little sweeties, you can use the Split Peaches link on this post and it will help me out financially as well.

Affiliate links have been used in this post. This toy was sent to me in exchange for an unbiased review.

I&S LLC the Beginning

This was the result of a question I asked on twitter. So what happens if an incubus and a succubus get together? Do they cancel each other out?

here’s my take on it. It’s the result of a couple of hours of writing and it’s probably not perfect, most likely too innoocent for a sex blog, but I’m putting it up anyway.

Trigger warning ………… non-consentual scenes …………

Part 1 Lena

Lena walked through the halls of the hospital to her next patient deep in thought. She’d been doing this job for five years now and though it was an adequate solution for everyone, it hadn’t always been so easy for her.

She remembered the day when she was eleven, two weeks before her first period came. That feeling you get when nothing but chocolate will do and there is none in the house but with sex. Only, she hadn’t known what it was back then. She was lucky it hadn’t been worse, until Brent.

He was that boy in school that all the girls want but who hadn’t learnt that consent was a thing. She had tried to warn him but he took it as playing hard to get and he paid for it with his life. Up until then, she had been pale and sickly, like when you don’t get enough iron but suddenly, after Brent, all the curves appeared and the shiny hair and she was what people called a sex kitten. That was when she realised what she was. She wasn’t happy that he had wanted to take from her before she was ready to give but in the end, he was happy to be held down and used for her pleasure. He was happy to be coated with her blood until the sleepiness came and stayed.

After that, after feeling guilty that she had taken a life, after wrestling with her demons, she studied hard. There were books about how to be what she was, how to control it effectively. You just had to search for them. Every few months, when things got to critical mass, she would look for one of those guys who thought they were king of the hill and tank up just enough that they only felt they had gone ten rounds, that they were tired and extremely sated but not dead.

She had friends but most of them didn’t know about her powers. To them, she was that slightly slutty girl with the big heart who was there for them, making silly voices and telling jokes to make them laugh or giving them hugs when they were sad. If she played with someone close to her, she was extremely careful with them, making sure she took less than they would even notice, just taking the residuals from their orgasms that they threw out there by default so they wouldn’t get tired.

Then the idea came to her. There must be people in hospitals and prisons who were never going to get out of there alive. Sociopaths and murderers, people like Brent would have become later in life.

She got herself some counseling credentials, even a little bit of skill in hypnosis. She applied to go around to all of the hospitals and prisons round about and ply her trade, disguised as it was. And that is what she had been doing for five years now.

They went willingly. They knew what the alternative was. Being stuck where they were until their deaths not being able to experience outside life. After she had done it for a while, she realised that she could change her appearance at will depending on the person she was visiting and that’s what she did. Some disguises were not pleasant for her, especially when she was in the protected wings of the prisons but she knew that the alternative was worse. They would hurt real innocents if they escaped. Luckily, she was sensitive and could orgasm almost at will so that she would at least gain some physical enjoyment out of her work. Only love was missing and she doubted whether she would ever be able to find it.

Part 2 Heathcliff

Why for the love of all things green and fuzzy had his Mother decided to name him that? It was so awkward for him. It was the same every year at school. he’d get to class and the teachers would swoon and be all “Awww, your Mum loved the Bronte sisters did she?” He’d have to smile and tell them yes, she did, and that when he had arrived, he looked like a miniature Heathcliff so she had streight away called him that. Now, he would get to suffer for eternity. He decided to shorten it to Heath and that had helped until puberty came.

Heath was a quintessential nerd. he got his first computer at seven, an old one no one wanted, and he learnt to make it do what he wanted. He enjoyed getting into the depths of the machine’s mind and having it do his bidding. It was better than doing that with people, a skill he realised he had by accident. He just learnt and observed and was able to tweak a little bit here, push a button there, and computers and people alike would do what he said.

He realised he could either use this skill to help people or to hurt them and as he had been brought up by people who valued honesty and integrity, he chose the helpful path.

The problems came with puberty. As he grew, he realised that something wasn’t right. He was often unwell, listless, the growth spurts and filling out that everyone else experienced weren’t coming to him. They looked to see if it were a hormonal thing but everything there was working as it should. Then he had a class with Mrs. Drisedale.

She was that teacher you dread having. The sadist who starts the year with picking on your name and just keeps going from there. She did everything she could to make Heath’s life a living hell. He wanted to talk to his parents about it but she was nice as pie to them so they assumed he was just being a teenager and didn’t they exagerate things a bit? The other difficult thing was that his usual powers, the ones that would make people do what he wanted, well, they had become unpredictable. It was like holding onto a slippery person who would just slip through your fingers the tighter you held them.

It all came to a head one day when she told him to stay after class. He wasn’t happy about it but did as she asked. She told him to come to her desk and suddenly, she was like a tiger, trying to rip off his clothes and scratch at his skin, grabbing his face to kiss him. He had not expected this and was definitely not consenting.

All at once, it was like the door to her mind had been opened and he saw the darkness within. She was as cruel and sadistic as he had thought, in fact, she was more so. She had plans for him with which he was definitely not in accord but it didn’t matter. He felt his powers coming back in regards to her, a lot more than he had figured they ever would. He probed with his mind, felt a chink and then … there, right inside her mind to the spot where her energy was. He knew how he would have to get it out of her and though he wasn’t good with this, he knew it was going to happen anyway.

She suddenly felt things were not as they should be. Her usual feeling of complete control over her unwilling pupil wasn’t there this time. She felt herself weakening, unable to be the one controlling the encounter. He even asked solicitously if he should do the work while she enjoyed herself, a situation she had never encountered before. Because he didn’t find her that attractive, it took a lot for him to do what he had to do but soon enough, she was languid, sleepy, floppy, scared, then panicked as he finished draining the life force out of her and into himself.

He knew he had to remove all traces of his having been there and he found it was easier than he had thought. He even was able to make it so it looked like he hadn’t spent in her, an automatic perk of having drained her life force from her. It seemed that all he would have to do was wipe everything up with baby wipes and it was as if it had all been her, having a wild time in her classroom by herself and dying of a heart attack.

the one good thing that came of this horrible encounter was that he wasn’t sickly any more. He was able to finish the growing he needed to do. His parents were shocked that five feet and six inches suddenly was sixfeet and two inches with muscles and lustrous dark wavy hair. The rest, well, it still plagued him and kept him up nights. Would he ever be able to find love now he knew what he was?

He decided that the service was for him. He joined up, dealt with the sadists there by lying in wait for them afterwards, getting them to give themselves sexual pleasure and tanking up on their residual energy. They were very unnerved to suddenly be fantasising about a new recruit but they were so much in their own heads that the connection was not made and he passed safely through the ranks to where he wanted to be.

Some of his kills were very interesting. It seemed they would die without weapons. Just have heart attacks while doing things that leaders of enemy camps were not supposed to be doing right then. It was strange, suspicious but because of Heath’s gifts, it was like there was a keep away field and people didn’t enquire over much into his methods. This shocked him as much as it would have shocked anyone if he had told them but he kept it secret. Only being by himself was hard. Everyone else had a partner at home and he was alone except for his parents.

Part 3 Incubus and Succubus

They literally bumped into each other in a cafe. His green smoothie and her thickshake flooding the world, or so it seemed to them. They were both so pissed at having to forego their sweet treats … and then they touched and looked into each other’s eyes and that was it.

They knew. It seemed to happen so fast. They left the cafe, walked quickly, she booking the next available app-based room for rent as they went. They got the key, ran up to the room, closed the door, ripped off clothes, and it was like nothing either of them had ever experienced. Neither had to hold back. They could do as they liked and no life force would go away from the other. It was like having someone who would catch you when you fell, for both of them. They kissed, licked, scratched, bit, rutted, screamed, cried, it was going to be an expensive afternoon. Not only would they need to get new clothes but the matress and sheets on that bed were not going to survive.

They talked well into the night. She about Brent, he about Mrs. Drisedale. they clung together and cried, knowing that finally, someone existed who would understand. Neither had to be alone any more and both could relax with each other.

Exclusivity was never going to be a thing for either of them but they had known that going in. She had her work and he had just left the service but they decided that they would form a team because with his mental gifts and both of their physical ones, they would be able to rid the world of painful people a lot more quickly.

And thus began I&S LLC.

Things I have Learnt from Almost a Year of Blogging

In august 2017, I started the Helen’s Toybox blog and it has been an interesting ride. I’ve had a big hiatus because of visiting family but even with that, it’s been a year of discovery and I have learnt so much. I think it’s about time I shared some of those things with you.

* Content is key

It doesn’t matter if your site isn’t all full of gimmicky pics and every little thing isn’t lined up right. If you keep writing on a regular basis, even if it is just a tweet or two to let people know that you still exist, you will be alright. You can rt old posts or schedule posts if you aren’t well or new content just isn’t coming.

* The Blog Squad are lovely and here to help and yes, they are people, not big celebrities

I am still learning this myself but other bloggers are here, they remember how it was to be new, and are happy to help. From posts about how to know your worth to tips on body safe toys to offers for paid work if you have a subset of skills they could use, it’s a wonderful community and no one will be upset if you follow or ask or offer to help.

* Ask and ye shall receive

I am still new at this but I have received a lot already just because I asked. I might get to help someone with site accessibility in exchange for their product. I have reviewed toys from three companies so far where I either got something for free or I got a discount. A fourth company has something in the mail for me. I have affiliate links and even people who have used them. I am going to Woodhull this year because I applied for the scholarship. I got a transcription job and a guest post on someone’s blog because I put myself out there and this has been really hard for me to do until I started this blog. Maybe it will help me in my non-toybox life too.

* Everyone blogs differently

@girlonthenet says “nobody does itquite like you” and that is so true. Others have probably done posts similar to this one but no one does it exactly the same and having the point-of-view of various people is helpful.

* You have a subset of skills that is unique to just you

I can tell you if a site will be accessible for screen readers. I speak two languages fluently and a few others a bit more rustily. I play the piano, I sing and I have done training in audio transcription. I know a bit about phone phreaking and love to do voice-overs. I understand a bit about audio engineering, can do reflexology and hypnosis. I also have a nack of bringing the people together who would most likely get along well or could use the skills of the other person, though I don’t know what that skill’s called.

These are skills that I have and this subset is probably pretty rare. They are quirky skills to have but you’d be surprised how many people look for a subset of those skills for certain things. No matter what your skill set, someone will want something you have at some point.

Maybe there are other things but these are the main ones I have learnt throughout this almost year.