I was telling a friend about a kink I have and was met with a feeling of absolute distress as it totally repulsed him. But I wasn’t upset with him, in fact, it made me think.
So I have a bit of a weakness for the aggressive, snarky, military types.
The household I was raised in was a very labor party one. I have never really been exposed to this type of man except as sadistic physical education teachers. I’ve been taught that killing is not OK, that you use words to fight your battles and not implements. But the idea of the drill instructor in Full Metal Jacket saying to me all those things he said to his recruits gives me wet panties for some strange reason.
I want someone to say all of those degrading, humiliating things and then check to see what it’s doing to me and then comment about it to everyone who can hear and then see because he just couldn’t help showing them. it also doesn’t help that I imagine someone I have spoken with being that person and doing said things.
People have often told me about their taboos, the things that were naughty or dirty for them. I didn’t really understand because it was often sex or masturbation or their bodies. But this particular kink feels like a huge naughty dirty taboo for me.
I have been told so often that anything military is not allowed. I feel like I have to do it in secret, like telling about it is hard, that I will be judged for having these feelings.
When I think about it, it’s a kink or fetish a lot of others have and logically, there isn’t really a reason for it to be awful but whether I read stories on my favourite erotica site that have US Marines in them or get secretly hot over a gang of diabolical nazi soldiers taking turns with me, it all feels so much worse than a lot of the other kinks I have that would be more wrong in another person’s eyes and it’s taken a lot of courage to admit it to the world.
It doesn’t make me a horrible person. It doesn’t mean that I will be a military camp follower. It just means that the idea, the thought, the fantasy is hot. Maybe I will get the chance to play with a military person one day, maybe I won’t but I’m not going to try to make it happen. If it does, I will treasure the experience like I do with all of my kinky playtime.
What kinds of kinks do you have that you find scary but that others perhaps wouldn’t? Comments and mentions or dm’s to @helenstoybox are welcome.