When you ask people about sex, the answer to all the questions is so often Penis in Vagina. It not only is the answer but it’s the only answer and everything else gets put into the secondary box by default.
Personally, I find that modus operandi very depressing if it is the only choice as there are so many options out there. The thing is though, that was not always the case. I only counted sex if it was penetrative. I didn’t count any of the myriad of choices on offer as complete sex.
Nowadays with the size I am and the various kinks I have, other forms of sex are really starting to make a lot more sense for me and my needs. I found this out when having a mind-blowing sexual experience that was not penetrative and the penetrative part felt like how people so often count the other so-called preludes or postludes to sex.
When I found out that the person found the so-called “real sex” a non-event and wanted to remove it from the list of things we did, I found myself not really being as upset about it as I thought I would because if it meant keeping things like humiliation and impact play, I would be more than happy to make that trade.
If people discount anything other than PIV as “real” sex, they are limiting their selections so much but will have to find this out themselves. It’s one of those things you have to have experienced and having people tell you won’t have the effect that experienceing it will have.
It was a lightbulb moment for me because I had heard of this being a thing with others but hadn’t experienced it myself as yet. Now I have and it feels like someone opened a big box of treasures and said “start exploring”.